The thing about this is, I remember her as a baby like it was yesterday. My first niece was born a couple of days ago and you better believe my daughter and I have spent as much time with her as possible. My sister is 12 years younger than me and I took care of her a lot. I became extremely protective of her just like she was mine. I have a feeling my daughter is going to be the same way with her new cousin. I already feel that same protectiveness for my niece that I felt for her mom (and my own daughter).
So, yesterday my sister, daughter and I were hanging out in her hospital room and I was holding the baby when the nurse came in to collect blood from my niece. If I would have known what the nurse was actually going to do I might have had the nurse wait until my mom had came back and handed her off to grandma. See, 11 years ago when I had my own daughter all of the heal pricking tests were not done in front of me, which is exactly the way it should be. No new mother wants to see their baby hurt while they sit there and watch, trust me there is plenty of instances where that will happen later. In fact, in the preteen times it happens a lot.
Well, it came down to me to hold her while the nurse pricked her heal and squeezed the ever living crap out of my niece's foot. What was even more crappy was the way I had to hold her, which was her back to my chest. That is not a comforting way to hold a baby at all! She took it like a champ and only screamed when the nurse was actually squeezing, which was six (long) times. Seriously, it felt like she was squeezing her for hours! When she stopped each time, the baby quit crying. Man, that crying was not the pissed off crying of changing her diaper. It was the, I'm hurt cry, the one every mother in the world feels in their chest. The one you carry with you for a while.
You might not even have to be a mother to feel it because I looked over at my daughter and she was crying along with my sister. I was straight up horrified and slightly shocked. The only thing I could do was hold her close to my face with skin to skin contact and babel in her ear. While we are all standing there like, what the hell just happened?! My niece is like, sweet, it's over, I'm going back to sleep, like Nothing. Ever. Happened. I gave her back to my sister and had to get out of there. I think we spent 10 more minutes visiting and drove home in a shocked silence where my daughter actually fell asleep for a few minutes.
Having a new baby around I can't help think of how it was when my daughter was small and how easy it was. Don't get me wrong, it is NOT easy to a new mother, but trust me when you have a preteen you'll look back and remember when you could hold them and their hurt and pain went away. I feel like at this point in our lives I spend a lot of time just being there for her and making sure in whatever way possible that my daughter lets me in. A lot of times she gets mad at me for asking so many questions, but it's my job to stay relevant to her. When she is hurt and mad, even when it's at us, I give her some space to think, then go and talk with her. There are very few times now that I can hold her and make the hurt and pain go away, but I'll still try with everything I have.
I don't get to see this girls as much as I'd like to, the one who would try anything to make me laugh, but sometimes she comes out to play and all is right with the world.
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